Kurt's Korner

Proverb of the Day: "Flunking Wisdom 101"

Thirty days ago, I began the Proverb-of-the-Day experience. Today I finish it.

Thirty days of wise sayings, tied in to our daily issues. We have discussed everything from balancing work and play to living on the corner of mindless and senseless. Along the way of wisdom we have discovered the importance of using God's GPS and not simply idling in our driveways.

Thirty days of wisdom, and we barely scratched the surface of what this powerful, practical book has to say to us.

And yet, as I read today's chapter, this verse jumped out at me: "I flunked 'wisdom.' I see no evidence of a holy God" (Proverbs 30:3, The Message).

No evidence of a holy God? Then you, my friend, deserve your "F" in Wisdom 101. Evidence of God is all around us. I see it in this picture. I didn't take it, but I dubbed it "The Clearing," and there is something sacred about this shot. I see it in my children when they are discovering the beauty and wildness of the world around them. I see it in the bowed head of one of my parishioners at prayer, communing with her heavenly father. One of my favorite Christian recording groups, First Call, sang a song called "Evidence of Love" highlighting all the ways God reveals Himself. It's a powerful, profound, wise song. Click the song's title to read the lyrics.

But if you see no evidence of a holy God, after thirty days, or thirty one chapters, or forty six years, you simply have not learned from wisdom's tutelage. You have turned a blind eye toward this wild, mysterious, sacred classroom we live in, and you have flunked Wisdom 101. My time as the substitute teacher in this class has come to a close, but thankfully the Master Teacher will continue teaching lessons as long as you wish to learn. And I hope you wish to learn.

I hope you take a front row seat, so you can take in all that God wants to teach you. And I hope you keep your supplies handy, too: a Bible (especially this wonderful book of Proverbs), spiritual eyes wide open, and a teachable heart. We'll be in this class as long as we live, so do yourself a favor: please don't flunk!

Proverb of the Day: "Image is Everything"

"The fear of human opinion disables;
   trusting in God protects you from that." (Proverbs 29:25, The Message)

Remember those old Andre Agassi commercials for the Canon Rebel camera? The ads featured Agassi during his "Bad Boy" days, when he shook up the white-shorts-and-manners tennis world with his trademark flashy colors and hairstyle that could have made him a stand-in for Def Leppard. At the end of the commercial, Agassi looks right at the TV audience and says, "Image... is everything."

Too bad the modern church agrees with him.

When did the church get so hung up on image? We have to look right, sound right, smell right, talk right, act right, eat right, and heaven forbid we'd ever confess to not having our act together! There's only one small problem with this approach to Christianity: it's more Pharisaical than Christ-like.

Don't get me wrong: I fully believe that when Christ fills us with His Spirit and His presence, we change in ways we never could imagine. That's the inner work the Apostle Paul speaks of in 2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" I support the Bible's position on the indwelling of the Holy Spirit: when the Spirit fills us, we become NEW creations. What I don't support is that it looks the same in all of us.

The Pharisees were all about image. They made certain that they followed every single tradition and law found in their cultural customs. In fact, they were keepers of Mosaic Law, so they HAD to be followers of tradition. When Christ came, he changed the rules - it wasn't about acting right ("Why do you heal on the sabbath? Don't you know that's work?"), it wasn't about sounding right ("If anyone is to follow after me, he must eat my flesh and drink my blood" - yeah, we'll get right on that), it wasn't about associating with the right people ("Why do you hang out with tax collectors and prostitutes?"), and it wasn't about eating or drinking right ("The Son of Man is called a glutton and a drunkard.").

Jesus, you see, had no fear of human opinion. What He was after was real change in our lives, and as long as people followed after Him, they could be loudmouths (think "Peter"), servants (think "Martha"), higher-ups (think "Paul"), or down-and-outers (think "lepers").

We would do well to stop taking Andre Agassi's advice. The religious life might be summed up as "Image is Everything." The disciple's life, though, would clarify this just a bit: "The image of Christ... this is everything."

Proverb of the Day: "Useless Prayers"

"God has no use for the prayers of the people who won't listen to him." (Proverbs 28:9, The Message)

I was in high school when I took a class about prayer at my church. It was one of those classes with a series of individual essays from various authors on a single topic. This class impacted me so significantly that I still have the workbook  twenty some years afterward.

There was one particular essay in this book that shaped my still malleable spirit in a permanent way. This essay focused on how we should pray, and how we should believe when we pray. It could have been summed up in this sentence (a sentence I still remember verbatim): "God will not be bothered with triflers."

The point, of course, is that prayer is a faith-based activity, not a certainty-based interaction. If I am praying for God to give me clarity on an upcoming decision, and I feel fairly certain that I need to make this choice over that one, God doesn't want me telling him, "Okay, Lord... I know I asked for clarity, and I'm feeling 75% certain that I should do  fill in the blank with choice to be made  , but I want to be really, really sure. Please give me CERTAINTY." This is not a prayer God needs, especially if we follow it up a week later with this one: "Thanks, God, for continuing to clear this up for me. I'm now at 90% confidence. But, just to be sure that I'm not making a whimsical decision, I'm begging you to give me ABSOLUTE clarity." God was showing you the way a week ago - it could very well be too late to act now, let alone when you've finally reached that 99% confidence level.

See, what this essay - and today's proverb - is saying is that God wants to give direction to those will follow them. He wants to make our paths straight, not ride shotgun while we idle in the driveway. It brings me around to one of my favorite religious sayings: "God can't steer a parked car."

So, do you listen to God after you pray to Him? If so, great. Keep at it. If not, please stop trifling with God. Get out of your driveway and start driving after God. He'll direct you, but you've got to be chasing Him!

Proverb of the Day: "Iron Men"

I just spent half of this day with my Iron Man, David Murdoch. He's not as buff as the kid in this pic, but that's no reason to underestimate him. I sure don't. After all, he's been my coffee pal, accountability partner, Ten Most Wanted buddy, weightlifting spotter, roomie and Best Man during the 20 years that we've known each other. Heck, my son's middle name is David in part because of Murdie.

Almost from the get-go, today's verse has been the theme  of the friendship Murdoch and I share: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17, New International Version). As a result of our friendship, I have lived more intentionally, especially with the introduction of our annual themes, which Murdie has been practicing since the early 1990s and I have been living by since 1994. In fact, the reason we spent the morning together today was to do our mid-year review of the 2007 themes.

I gave him updates on how Unwritten, my theme, has been going. My primary highlights: (1.) the fact that with a theme like "Unwritten," I'm doing more writing this year than I have done in a long, long time; (2.) the area of my life that was most unwritten, but I'm seeing God write most clearly, this year is in leadership here at my church. David told me that he's still en fuego, his 2007 theme. In fact, he feels like God is lighting some new fires in his heart as a result of this year's theme.

Do you have someone who sharpens your life? Who is it? When was the last time you told this person how much you value the sharpening he or she brings into your life? I know that the "Murdie/Kurtie" friendship David & I share is a unique gift from God. I have told him as much, and he has shared the same with me. We are each other's Ironmen, and we're sharper because of it.

Proverb of the Day: "Between a Rock and a Hard Place"

I absolutely love the TV show Scrubs. And one of my favorite ongoing schticks in the show is the never-ending battle between Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso. If you're a fan, you know exactly what I mean. If not, here's a quick recap:

Dr. Kelso is the Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart hospital. He's by the book, and wants the bottom line to favor him and the hospital. Crass, blunt, and eternally self-focused, Dr. Kelso sees Sacred Heart as his own little kingdom.

Dr. Cox, on the other hand, lives to pester Dr. Kelso, the residents under his care, his ex-wife, and just about anyone else he comes in contact with. But under that confrontational surface of his, Dr. Cox sees being a doctor as a literal battle for life, and he fights it with a passion.

But when Dr. Kelso and Dr. Cox get in the same room with each other, the give and take is nothing short of hilarious. Click here and see for yourself.

The scene I've linked to highlights the kind of no-win dialogue Dr. Kelso and Dr. Cox often have with each other: Kelso says one thing, Cox says another. Cox makes a decision, Kelso trumps it. The scene also highlights a confusing set of two verses in the book of Proverbs. I've always wondered about these two verses: "Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation" (Proverbs 26:4-5, New Living Translation).

"Don't answer fools..." "Be sure to answer fools..." Which bit of advice should I follow???

Only after reading some commentary on this text did I realize that these verses are actually painting a picture of how hard it is to deal with fools. Don't answer them, or you'll be as foolish as they are. On the other hand, you should be sure to answer them, or they'll think they got the best of you, even though they're fools.

Brings to mind the old "between a rock and a hard place" dilemma, doesn't it? "Don't answer": Rock. "Answer": Hard Place. "Answer": Rock. "Don't answer": Hard Place. So what do we do?

I honestly believe that the best policy with people who are truly foolish - those who simply will not listen to any thoughts, reasoning, or opinions other than their own - is to just steer clear. You're not going to win, so don't enter the fray.

I guess you could say that the best way out of being between a rock and a hard place is simply to climb the rock and get on your way.

Proverb of the Day: "Like Custom-Made Jewelry"

Like millions of other high school kids, I got a class ring when I was a sophomore at Sturgis High School. And it was one of the coolest-looking class rings I've ever seen, if I say so myself. My birthday is in September, and the sapphire I chose had a fireburst effect, so it glistened and glowed like a royal blue coal. I loved that ring. Wore it proudly through high school, college, even during my Master's degree program. In fact, one of my favorite wedding pictures is a close up of Cathy and me toasting the camera - on my left hand is my brand new, untarnished wedding band. On my right? My glowing sapphire ember of a high school ring.

But, as with so many things from our youth, there came a time when I began seeing that class ring as part of my past. I was a grown up now, and this was a high school class ring. So it sat in a jewelry box in our bedroom. I thought about it often, but didn't wear it much.

Then came our 6th wedding anniversary. I wanted to do something special for Cathy, so I went to our local jeweler and had him custom design an anniversary pendant from my high school class ring. Jim did a fantastic job, too. It was a bold, melted 'splash' pendant. One of a kind. And I gave it to Cathy.

That anniversary gift was significant in many ways

• It was straight from my heart. I wanted to give Cathy a gift that symbolized me giving her part of who I was, and that high school ring was a perfect choice.
• It took careful thought. If I was going to willingly alter a priceless piece of my past and give it to my wife, I wanted it to be perfect.
• It had to be for a special occasion, otherwise a bracelet would do. The anniversary of our wedding vows and commitments we made at that altar was the ideal time and setting to give her something that represented ME.

Cathy was a surprised and touched by this gift as I'd ever seen her, too. She knew how meaningful that present was, and she accepted it as the priceless offering it was.

When I read today's proverb, I thought about my high school class ring and how it became a custom-made present for my wife:

"The right word at the right time
   is like a custom-made piece of jewelry,
And a wise friend's timely reprimand
   is like a gold ring slipped on your finger." (Proverbs 25:11-12, The Message)

The right word at the right time is as perfect, as meaningful, as intentional, and as significant as a custom-designed pendant! That's powerful, don't you think?

When I was training to be a counselor, I learned the lesson of earning the right to speak into others' lives. I was taught to LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to what people are saying to me. I was taught to REFLECT, REFLECT, REFLECT on what was being shared - both in the content of the words themselves, and in the internal and/or relational process they represent. And I was taught that then - and only then - have we earned the right to speak to people's problems, burdens, troubles, and concerns.

I only hope that my everyday words are as thoughtful as a custom-made piece of jewelry.

Proverb of the Day: "A Kiss on the Lips"

"An honest answer
       is like a kiss on the lips." (Proverbs 24:26, NIV)

How is honesty like a kiss on the lips? It's intimate. Think about it - how much easier is it to avoid hurting someone's feelings by simply telling her what she wants to hear? He asks a question, you say what he wants to hear, and we all move along. Simple, right?

But when someone dares to be honest with us, well, that changes things, doesn't it? An honest answer means someone was actually listening: "If that's the way he treats you, I think you should break up with him. RIGHT NOW."

Whoa. Now what?!? You just encountered someone actually listening to you, my friend. And in reply, you got an honest answer. See how intimate things suddenly got? Now you know where I stand on your relationship - I'm vulnerable, you're vulnerable, our whole relationship might very well hinge on how you react to my honesty. And that kind of vulnerability is true intimacy.

Understand this, though: intimacy doesn't necessarily mean cuddling and candlelight. Intimacy has more to do with letting our true self be known to others. Sounds like honesty, doesn't it? And so we come full circle: "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."

Or, to put it a bit more succinctly: Honesty = intimacy.

Proverb of the Day: "Spank or Sarcasm?"

"Don't be afraid to correct your young ones;
   a spanking won't kill them.
A good spanking, in fact, might save them
   from something worse than death." (Proverbs 23:13, 14, The Message)

America has been suffering from a parenting crisis since at least the 1970s. Parents have gotten more and more lenient, and less and less of an authority in their children's lives. This despite well-documented evidence showing that when kids know their boundaries they feel safer and tend to be better behaved. But we don't want to hurt little Jacob or precious Abigail, so we give them free reign over the household, with little to no restrictions.

The result? Let's just say Dr. Phil won't be out of a job anytime soon.

While it will be easy to get hung up on the discipline of choice in today's proverb, the overriding point is found in the first line: "Don't be afraid to correct your young ones." Far too many parents, I think, are afraid to correct their children for any number of reasons, ranging from relatively logic ("I want him to learn from experience") to wildly irrational ("Saying NO to her will make her compensate for her disappointments when she's a teen, and I don't want to be the cause of my daughter's eating disorder!"). Granted, as Jim Dobson says in the title of one of his books, Parenting Isn't for Cowards, but that doesn't mean it should be avoided at all costs. With a little determination, lots of love, and enough consistency to send the same message to Michael and/or Michaela for more than one full afternoon, most parents grow into their roles as disciplinarian. It doesn't have to be fun, but it most certainly is necessary.

If we continue avoiding this issue, our parenting choices will amount to this:

Proverb of the Day: "Always in Demand"

His name is Steve, and he was my Youth Pastor when I was a teen. Though Steve probably had no idea I was actually paying attention to more than just his Wednesday lessons, I learned more than that by observing him. What I saw was a minister who ministered. He was at our sports events. He made sure we knew the bible and how it applied to our lives. By observing Steve, I know that as a pastor, I need to "be there" for my parishioners.

His name is Tom, and he was my pastor when I was in college. Tom led a church of more than 1,000 people, and I was one of them at the time. But what I observed when I watched Tom was a purposeful approach to preaching. Tom wanted people to encounter God through his messages, and he preached in such a way that God was, indeed, accessible to us. By observing Tom, I adopted the "tell people what you're going to tell them, and then help them really understand it" approach to preaching.

His name is Joe, and he was my most influential professor when I was a ministerial student at Indiana Wesleyan University. Joe had one of the most creative minds I have ever encountered, and his captivating communication came from a phenomenal combination of knowledge and down-to-earth genuineness. By observing Joe, I learned how to think big, corral those big thoughts, and eventually communicate them in a helpful, insigtful way.

His name is Dave, and he is my step dad. Though Dave has been hampered since 1993 by the effects of a stroke, he was a strong presence during my growing up years. Dave had an almost superhuman work ethic, and almost superhuman strength to go with it. By observing Dave, I learned the value of hard work, along with the rewards that come from a job well done.

Today's proverbs tells us to "Observe people who are good at their work— skilled workers are always in demand and admired; they don't take a backseat to anyone" (Provebs 22:29, The Message).

I have observed people who are good at their work - the men I mentioned above, and countless others who have shaped and influenced me with their examples. My prayer is that I, too, am the kind of person who is good at my work, skilled, in demand, even admired. Not for those reasons in and of themselves, but because I follow another passage of scripture: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:17, NIV).

Who are your examples, my friends? I'd love to hear about people in your life who have set a mark toward which you shoot!

Proverb of the Day: "Money Can't Buy You Love"

"Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack
   than share a mansion with a nagging spouse." (Proverbs 21:9, The Message)

Brett and Anita were seeing me because their marriage was at a crossroads. On the surface, all looked perfect. Brett and Anita were young, good-looking, well dressed and perfectly groomed. Their hair was the latest style. Their cologne and perfume, high end. They were even building their dream home together. This professional couple might have looked like most everyone's ideal, but they were seeking professional help because in spite of their outward image, they were empty and crumbling. And their primary problem was that they simply didn't get along.

Brett told me that he felt like Anita nagged him all the way to their dream home, and even this home wouldn't be good enough for her. Anita, on the other hand, spoke of Brett's harshness and how quickly he dismissed her and how he "always just does his own thing anyway." Brett and Anita were living out the dilemma mentioned in today's proverb: sure, they had it all, but they were sharing their "all" with partners they simply couldn't tolerate having around. Or, as today's verse specifically puts it: they "shared a mansion with a nagging spouse."

I know of another couple who have experienced the other end of the spectrum. Their first house had floors so crooked that balls would literally roll from one end of the kitchen to the other, and they didn't know which had more mice: the house or the garage. There were times when this couple had $19 in their checking account for the week, but they had love, and that made it worthwhile. In fact, Cathy and I thoroughly enjoyed those first 14 months of our marriage in that place.

How many times have you heard married couples reminisce about the days when they could barely scratch up enough money for macaroni & cheese? Those "tumbledown shack" days of early marriage aren't so bad when they're shared with someone we love. As for that "mansion with a nagging spouse"? Like the old saying goes, money can't buy you love.